


heartworms

by moonrisechan (celestialminghao)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Dead Yang Jeongin | I.N, F/M, Gen, Insomniac Bang Chan, M/M, Murder Mystery, Ouijia Board, Psychic Abilities, Unrequited Crush, everyone is either second or first gen korean american, hyunjin/jeongin is an unrequited crush jeongin had btw, in the us, takes place early 2000s
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-10-26 05:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17739860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialminghao/pseuds/moonrisechan
Summary: Jeongin Yang was standing in Chan’s backyard, staring at him through the kitchen window, standing by the decade old swing-set.—————Chan had never been friends with Jeongin, he barely knew him, but it was on the news every night updating that Jeongin is still missing.Missing, up until Chan spots him in his backyard twenty minutes before midnight.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second he was outside, Jeongin was gone. No sign anyone had even been there. Not that there would of necessarily been one anyway. 
> 
> It wasn’t something Chan saw himself being able to ignore very easily, how purely odd it all was.

November 5th, 2006 - Sunday

 

Rumors of Jeongin Yang passed around quickly. The wednesday immediately after, was when words like ‘kidnapped’ and ‘runaway’ were staining the hallways in their school. Of course, the talk died quickly - maybe a week later.

 

But, once police were becoming involved, interest sparked again. The handful of students people could easily pair off into Jeongin’s circle were pulled out of class for interrogation. Even the thought of students in _their_ school being talked to by the _police_ made plenty of peers jittery with anxiety and excitement. It was gross, being excited by the idea of a missing child.

 

Most were underclassmen, but Woojin Kim from Chan’s history class was asked to the guidance office during note-taking. Jeongin’s reputation as the local missing boy tended to fluctuate between being a hot topic and an untouched discussion. It was very easy to forget Jeongin existed sometimes; Unless you were one of his few friends.

 

It was different in Chan’s case.

 

Jeongin Yang was standing in Chan’s backyard, staring at him through the kitchen window, standing by the decade old swing-set. Chan never spoke to him, not once, but he knew his face from the poster on the pinboard outside the school. Maybe one of Jeongin’s friends pinned it up, not that it would of done much.

 

Chan’s first reaction is to go outside, something pulls inside of him to rush Jeongin. Like he was going to disappear again if he didn’t hurry. And oddly enough, that’s what happened.

 

It was just before midnight, already an odd time for Chan to be awake - but, not really, he had trouble sleeping a lot. Sometimes it was better to not bother trying at all.

 

The second he was outside, Jeongin was gone. No sign anyone had even been there. Not that there would of necessarily been one anyway.

 

It wasn’t something Chan saw himself being able to ignore very easily, how purely odd it all was.

 

Before Chan went back inside, he looks over his shoulder, hoping to catch Jeongin again. As expected, he didn’t see him.

 

**\- - - - -**

 

November 6th, 2006 - Monday

 

The usual heavy heart and tired eyes the rest of the students have, while filing into the school building, greet Chan as he pushing past a few students still talking about their weekends. Chan makes sure to avoid looking at the missing poster beside the advertisment for student council, before slipping into the front of the building. A hand reaches over to Chan’s collar and gives a soft tug for him to look in the other direction, Jeongin's poster just out of focus. Posed with a hand on her hip, Jihyo stares at Chan a second before scowling a bit. Her lower lip stuck out just enough to still look cute despite her tone. “You didn’t sleep last night, Channie. Did you?”

 

He had dark spots under his eyes, Chan caught them in the mirror while he washed his face that morning. “Couldn’t sleep,” he hums, looking down to her fingers still pinched around the collar of his shirt. He raises a hand to knock hers away. “Besides, some weird shit happened… Like, creepy-weird shit. Kept me up.”

 

“Like?” Jihyo nods for Chan to follow her into the school building. They walk close enough for their legs to brush together every few steps.

 

He wanted to take her hand, but lately he worries things were starting to become strained between them. Not that Chan could entirely put his finger on it. There was something about their interactions recently - at times Jihyo felt more like a second-mother to him, rather than his girlfriend. It makes him not want to bother her with the unusual events from the night before, now, too. Knowing that she would fight him on it, Chan continues. “The kid that went missing…” Chan starts.

 

“Jeongin?” Interrupts Jihyo.

 

He nods. Chan wishes she didn’t say his name. Maybe labeling him as ‘the kid that went missing,’ to not think of him as a person at all, was just easier. “I swear to god I saw him last night. In my backyard… By Hannah and Lucas’ swing-set.”

 

Jihyo nods softly. “Ah… Well, _Chris…_ ” She pauses to tease. “What did Jeongin want?”

 

“‘Dunno,” Chan confesses, not bothering to say anything about what name she used. “Second I went out there to see what was what, he was gone.”

 

“You might have imagined it,” she rationalizes. “Delirious from lack of sleep…” Jihyo stops to reach up and hold Chan’s jaw in her small hand. She squishes his face and smiles. “You need to sleep more.” Her tone is almost peachy, but beneath that layer, she’s concerned. Chan hates it.

 

“I know,” he mumbles, looking like a pouting child from the manhandling. “But, I also know what I saw.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“I swear! I swear to god I saw him!” Chan’s attempts at convincing Jihyo are a bit lost.

 

Jihyo drops her hand back to her side and they continue to walk again. She shifts her school bag around on her shoulders, Chan tugs it in attempt to carry it for her. She doesn’t let him. “You weren’t friends with him, were you?”

 

“No.”

 

“So why would he go see you?” She asks, they pause outside a classroom. “No offense, it just doesn’t make any sense.”

 

She had a point, Chan could admit - to himself, only. “I don’t know but- but I know it was him.”

 

Jihyo makes a face and turns to the classroom and looks back to Chan. “I- I’m not sure what you want me to say. We can talk later?”

 

She leaves, Chan goes to class.

 

**\- - - - -**

 

Once Chan reaches history - his fifth period - he remembers Jeongin again. That being said, it wasn’t that he exactly forgot, it was just a lot harder to ignore now. The first thing Chan’s eyes land on is Woojin Kim, who was already pulling out his textbook.

 

It would be inappropriate for Chan to say anything to him. He barely knows Woojin - barely knew Jeongin. Or, knows. Barely _knows_ Jeongin, a few rumors about the kid _maybe_ dying don’t have to mean anything.

 

Suddenly, Chan just starts thinking about it. About people saying Jeongin might be dead. He probably did imagine him last night, either way.

 

Jeongin was close _-ish_ with Woojin, plenty know that now. Two days after Jeongin’s face started appearing in the newspaper and on evening television, Woojin had suddenly burst into tears in the middle of class. But, not really _burst_ into tears. It had been class like normal, but from the second to last row of desks, someone started sniffling and Chan turned just in time to see Woojin bury his face in his his arms. Not many hints were required to tell he was crying.

 

Woojin - close- _ish_ with Jeongin, but Jeongin’s best friend was a sophomore named Hyunjin Hwang.

 

Chan spent the first twenty minutes of class busying himself with thinking about Jeongin’s inner-circle of friends. His own friends had some ties to Jeongin’s, but nothing really direct. Nothing to justify Chan's sudden overt attachment to Jeongin. Or, maybe not quite so overt as it was now just something Chan noticed about himself. Thinking about a kid that no one has heard anything about in a month, stuck in his own head about the disgustingly interesting mystery in their small-ass town. 

 

Four pages of note-taking and a reading assignment later, class is dismissed for lunch, Chan hurries so he can reach Jihyo’s class. He’s been on the other end before, waiting outside the classroom for her to join him, so he always tries to reach her quickly. But, Woojin is just ahead of him, and Chan suddenly feels almost nauseous. He wants to say something about seeing Jeongin, even if Jihyo is right and it was some figment of his imagination. He needs to blurt it out and maybe one of Jeongin’s friends would be the right person to hear.

 

His mouth feels dry and he starts to raise a hand to tap on Woojin’s shoulder, but he pulls back. Chan wagers it in his head again, but Woojin joins two other students and Chan feels too shy to interrupt them. He turns to leave in the other direction, going to the science hallway to meet with Jihyo.

 

She’s plenty happy to see him, quickly bouncing over and taking his hand. Chan decides he won’t bother her just then with rambles about Jeongin again. Jihyo talks to him about a test she took two periods ago, expressing her worries about the grade. He’s a good boyfriend, speaking softly about how often she had studied and how smart she is.

 

They reach the cafeteria, Changbin is already waving them over to their table. “You’ll never believe it!” His speech slightly slurred from how quickly he spoke. “Guys! C’mere, don’t want the whole cafe’ hearing this!”

 

“They’d hear it even if you tried ‘whispering,’” Jihyo teases.

 

Changbin rolls his eyes and gestures them to come closer. “I went over to Jisung’s last night, I was gonna bug him over the homework. ‘Gonna see if he had it done.”

 

Jihyo raises an eyebrow and Chan nods for him to continue. “Come on, what is it?”

 

It was good to take his mind off of everything with Changbin’s gossip.

 

“Everyone was already asleep, so I was gonna do that thing where I throw pebbles at his window…” Changbin starts laughing. “So I was sneaking into the backyard.”

 

“Did you break into Jisung’s house? Please tell me you didn’t break into his house. His parents are such nice people…” Chan playfully groans.

 

“Jisung was in his backyard.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“He was with someone…” Changbin’s tone is suggestive.

 

Jihyo immediately gets excited. “Who!?” She squeals, hurriedly leaning over the table just to show how interested she.

 

Changbin glances from side to side, even Chan was getting invested now. “Go on, Mate,” he says, fully prepared for the cracks at his slang.

 

Changbin rushes out the name, nearly squealing, too. “Felix!” It’s hushed enough to still count as a whisper.

 

Despite Changbin’s own reaction, Jihyo falls back in her seat. “Oh,” she says. “And this is interesting because?”

 

“I think… Someone was confessing…”

 

Truthfully, Chan was thrown off, to say the least. He did consider Felix as his best friend - through and through. What started off as a stupid bond over the fact they both were born in Australia, did turn into a legitimate friendship. Should Felix of been the one harboring a crush at all, it was surprising that he never said anything to Chan. “Huh,” Chan starts a thought, but doesn’t get to finish, since the two gossip culprits were rolling up to the table.

 

“Hello,” Jihyo sing-songs. “What goes on?”

 

“Where’s Minho?” Felix asks, ignoring her question.

 

“Doctor’s appointment,” Changbin answers. “Be back tomorrow… But! World of the living, how are we?”

 

Jisung flops into a seat beside Changbin. “Nothing much - Tackled on my way into school today.” He eyes Changbin.

 

“Homework?”  Chan guesses, sliding in his seat to make room for Felix.

 

“Changbin told you?” Jisung asks.

 

“Something like that,” Jihyo answers. Her eyes flicker back and forth between Felix and Jisung. “How was everyone’s weekends? Mine, personally, was boring.”

 

“How come?” Felix asks. Chan slightly side-eyes him, wondering about his possible feelings for Jisung.

 

Jihyo takes a turn at side-eyeing Chan. “I was suppose to go on a date with my boyfriend, but he didn’t sleep for two days. So, I told him to nap instead. I’m a good girlfriend, of course.”

 

“You’re making me feel bad.”

 

“I want you to sleep, darling,” Jihyo tilts her head cutely, puppy eyes and pouty lips. Chan puts an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “For me,” she finally adds.

 

Jisung eyes Felix a moment. “My weekend was,” he pauses, watching him a bit longer before tearing his eyes away and finally settling on a spot on the wall just past Changbin. “Eventful.”

 

“I see,” Changbin says. “Chan? What about you?”

 

He looks at Jihyo a second. “Something really weird happened last night.” He doesn't miss Felix nearly humming in agreement. For now, Chan ignores it. “I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Uh-huh,” Felix goes.

 

“So I was fuckin’ around my house, bored as ever. I’m hanging around my kitchen, when I see… Jeongin Yang.”

 

A few curses are said, Changbin holding a skeptic look on his face. “Isn’t he… Missing? Like, over a month now…” Changbin says and adds for good measure. “I’m just saying, what would he be doing hanging around your house?”

 

“That’s what I said!” Jihyo chimes in. “Like, you two weren’t even friends! Not in any way!”

 

“I know! Which is why it’s weird…” Chan defends. “And then, shit, I go outside to… Say something? I dunno, figure out what the hell he wants, when he’s suddenly gone again.”

 

“That’s…” Jisung starts. “Weird.” He concludes.

 

“Very weird,” Felix adds.

 

Jihyo waits a moment before speaking again. “Jisung, Felix…” She starts, they both snap their eyes in her direction. “You’re friend with… uh-Hyunjin Hwang and... Seungmin Kim, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Jisung answers. “Why?”

 

“Have they… Said anything to you?”

 

“No,” Felix answers a bit too quickly. “They haven’t- No. We didn’t really… Know Jeongin, y’know? I think he said ‘hi’ to me once. Hyunjin and Seungmin both they… tend to keep that stuff to themselves, y’know?”

 

Jihyo seems satisfied with the answer and Changbin suddenly pipes up with a new topic. “This is depressing,” he points out. “I’m going to tell you guys about how I nearly got detention on Friday, because I don’t think I’ve told any of you.”

 

So Jeongin is dropped once again.

 

**\- - - - -**

 

The conversation at lunch - the bits with Jeongin, as well as this Jisung-Felix bullshit - kept Chan’s head too preoccupied for anything else. So much so, that he leaves for home without Jihyo. He barely notices until he’s five minutes off school property and he starts to notice the steady sound of sneakers hitting pavement.

 

“Hello!” She snaps - but, not quite.

 

“Oh,” he goes. “Fuck.”

 

“You… Didn’t wait for me…” She sounds hurt, but almost concerned. Chan was starting to really not like how often she was concerned for him. “Did something happen?”

 

Chan’s house is in sight, so he nods for her to continue with him. “I’m distracted today, love, I’m sorry - I really am. I just-uh-just can’t seem to focus.”

 

Jihyo reaches out to take his hand, but hesitates. Chan closes the gap between them and links their fingers. “The Jeongin-Thing, that’s seriously getting to you, isn’t it?”

 

They turn up to Chan’s home, Chan a few steps ahead to open the door. “A little. It’s- It’s unsettling, seriously. He’s been missing a _month_ , rumors are going around...”

 

Once inside, Jihyo voices her thoughts. “You think you saw a ghost or something?” Maybe she’s being serious or maybe she’s trying to lighten the mood - Chan can’t tell.

 

Chan tosses a look to her. They both start up the stairs to Chan’s bedroom, a routine driven into them. He shrugs. “Doubt it, but- but even if I didn’t really see anything. Even if it was just- just my delirious-ass mind cooking up something weird, why him?”

 

Jihyo perches herself on Chan’s bed - it was made, very clearly not slept in. She ignores it. “We all feel… Bad about him. I feel sick, almost, like… Chan, this isn’t a big town,” Jihyo says. “It’s been a little over a month, there’s… Not a lot of other possibilities here.”

 

“So what do you think?”

 

“I don’t know what I really think about that. What I think about _you_ is that everyone is getting freaked out and scared over him. Hoping to be the one to find him - hoping what everyone is saying isn’t true - that’s… Normal.”

 

Chan sits beside her, laying back and guiding Jihyo to lay beside him. She does. “Half the school is saying he’s dead,” Chan sighs. “And I didn’t even know him. I shouldn’t be getting so- so worked up--”

 

“This kind of stuff screws with everybody’s head,” she hushes. “Let’s just sleep for now, okay? You’ve barely slept over the weekend, we can talk in a few hours.”

 

He would rather not agree, not that he wants to talk about the Jeongin business anymore, either. Chan just wants the world to stop spinning so fast for a damn minute and sometimes it spins faster when he tries to sleep it away.

 

But he lets Jihyo curl up next to him, careful not to touch him - he gets fidgety when he tries to sleep after too many days awake, Jihyo’s learned to just lay beside him. Chan pulls a blanket on top of them both and he tries to let himself blink in and out of consciousness.

 

It's not workign but he can feel the minutes drag on, blurring together and losing track of everything. It feels too continous, heat building, his chest burns.  Someone whispers something in Korean to him, not that he thought he spoke it very well anymore.

 

Across the room, Jeongin Yang’s notorious thin eyes stare at him.

 

Chan jumps, staring back. He watches Jeongin blink three times at him. Chan blinks twice, Jeongin is gone after the second blink.

 

“Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck-shit. Shit-fuck,” Chan curses, Jihyo is already sitting up. “Oh my God- Oh my God, I saw him again.”

 

The clock says it's been two hours. “Huh?” She goes. “Jeongin?”

 

“Yes, Jesus- Jesus fuckin’- Fuck. Fuck.”

 

Jihyo whips around, looking every which-way in Chan’s relatively small bedroom. She stares in the direction of where Chan spotted Jeongin, for what feels like, a few minutes, at least. She looks to Chan. “He was in here?”

 

Chan vaguely nods in the direction - it was over in-between his closet and his chest of drawers. “Right there…” He feels prickling behind his eyes. “Oh Jesus.”

 

“Chris,” she whispers, his second name rolling off her tongue quickly. “Shit… Are you alright?”

 

“I feel... Gross,” Chan finally voices. “I don’t- I don’t know. I just- just…” He stares at his closet door for another second. “I don’t know.”

 

She takes his hand slowly and hums. “He wasn’t really there, you know, if that’s what you’re scared of.”

 

“Maybe he was.”

 

Jihyo starts to wiggle out of bed, sliding out from under the blanket without disturbing Chan too much - which, to say the least, was still pretty disturbing. She stands over by the closet. “Maybe he’s hiding away inside. Slipped away in the blink of an eye.”

 

The way Chan’s heart began to race, watching as Jihyo starts to open the door. He isn’t sure whether he wants Jeongin to be waiting on the other side. Jeongin hiding behind the door, holding his breath. Maybe he's been hiding there all along and he's just finally letting the game come to an end. Maybe Jeongin's been fine this whole time.

 

Winter coats and a pile of shoes stare back at him, Chan feels his stomach lurch. “Okay,” he says.

 

Jihyo looks back at him while closing the door. “You’re still freaked out.”

 

He isn’t able to stop himself before it’s said. “Jihyo, can you--” He does stutter for a second. “Do you think you- you can--”

 

“Do you want me to go home?” She asks quietly.

 

He’s ashamed, maybe, and a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. He brings a hand to his mouth. “I’m just- I don’t know. I don’t- I don’t want to be around… Anyone and I- I just--”

 

Jihyo crosses the room to him, leaning over, so she was staring at him at eye level. “Please don’t apologize,” she says. “I understand what you mean, hon’, it’s alright.” She glances to the door. “I can show myself out… And please, go to sleep soon, okay?”

 

She pecks his lips briefly before heading towards the door, tossing a glance over her shoulder that’s accompanied with a big smile. Chan flops back onto his bed and hums to himself, not missing how Jihyo’s voice carries up the stairs when she greets Chan’s mother.

 

“He didn’t sleep again, so I’m just heading home… Keep an eye, would you?”

 

Jihyo and Chan have been dating for two years and seven months - but who was counting? - and since finding out about his insomniac behavior, Jihyo has only since been acting more and more like a second mother than a girlfriend. She worries too much, Chan feels terrible. He should talk with her, talk it out like a mature couple should.

 

And, despite her soft voice and big eyes, Chan does not find it within himself to sleep that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sure enough, just as Chan expected moments ago, Jeongin Yang stares back at him. His eyes continuously shift back and forth between Changbin and Chan. He looks so terrified. Jesus, Chan can hear a heartbeat thumping right in his ears and he’s positive it isn’t his own. It’s beating too fast. Maybe it’s Jeongin’s.
> 
> But Jeongin is - probably - dead. Whose heartbeat would be so deafening?

November 7th, 2006 - Tuesday

 

 

Jihyo and Chan’s mother probably were plotting against him this whole time, to be honest. Tuesday morning, his mother hesitantly brings up medication - again - and then frowns. “I’ve called ahead to the school, love.” Chan flops back down onto his bed. “I’m not about to let you go on into school if you’re about to be in and out. _Dozing off in class_ , huh?”

 

It gets left at that. His parents leave for work, Hannah and Lucas were gone for school. Chan actually manages a nap.

 

It’s interrupted a few hours in, though, because someone is throwing pebbles at his window.

 

Unsurprisingly, Chan spots Changbin below his window. He glances around and sighs. “Mate,” he starts. “What the hell?”

 

“ _Mate_ ,” Changbin replies, laughing. “This _beautiful_ girl tells me you weren’t in school today, so I thought you would want company.”

 

“Are you talking about my girlfriend?”

 

“So I faked ill and got sent home! Popped in long enough so my mom thinks I’m sleeping in my room.” Changbin grins widely. “Now, tell me about the ghost.”

 

“The- Excuse me?”

 

Changbin, who was flailing his limbs as he crawls onto the trash can beside him, looks back up to Chan. “Jihyo told me you saw something yesterday, something only you saw.”

 

“And you assume ghost?” Chan laughs as he reluctantly helps Changbin hoist himself up into his bedroom window. Talking ‘ghost’ with Changbin burns a bit in his chest.

 

It was a bit of an over shot, so Changbin hits the floor and glances up to Chan from a horizontal position. “You saw Jeongin again, right?”

 

Chan doesn’t like that he’s right. His silence answers him.

 

Changbin frowns. “Sorry,” he’s quick to apologize. “I shouldn’t of said it like that.”

 

“You’re right,” Chan admits. “I did see him.” Changbin quirks an eyebrow. He points to where. “Jihyo didn’t see anything, but maybe she just wasn’t looking.”

 

“What if… I’m looking?” Changbin asks.

 

“Are you hoping to see a ghost, or something?” Chan asks dryly.

 

“Well,” Changbin starts, he jabs a thumb back. “You could say that.”

 

He had his schoolbag, something Chan didn’t notice before. He watches Changbin shimmy off the straps and unzip the bag.

 

Brand new, from the looks of it, like Changbin had just bought it. “You brought a _Ouija board_ …” Chan says softly. “ _Why_?” He tries to edge his tone in a way to sound playfully frustrated, but it comes out strained.

 

“To talk to the ghost,” Changbin says, like it’s so obvious.

 

“He’s not a ghost,” Chan insists, but he wants to say ‘dead.’  “I probably imagined it, ‘bin.”

 

Pulling his backpack back on and adjusting the straps, Changbin shrugs. “Or you didn’t and we could talk to an actual ghost!” He says. “Don’t you want to?”

 

 _No_ , Chan thinks, he doesn’t. It feels so gross. It feels like worms, squirming around, in his chest. A huge, disgusting mess. _Wanting to talk to the dead kid_. Changbin was fucking disgusting.

 

His face must say it all, since Changbin’s face drops and meekly tries for Chan’s attention. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I never thought of you as a believer,” Chan quickly says, trying to make Changbin feel better by acting unbothered. The worms still in his chest, crawling closer and closer to his heart - he feels infested. “You know,” Chan finally continues after a moment’s silence. “In…  Ghosts.”

 

When Changbin answers Chan, he’s got his back to him, peering at the Ouija board again. It seems standard, nothing special about it - weird to think the dead choose to only talk through something you buy in a toy store.

 

“To be honest, I don’t believe in ghosts. Any of that shit, really.”

 

Chan looks over. “Hoping this would change your mind?”

 

“Dude,” Changbin sighs, not looking at Chan. “Chris, I’m trying to change _your_ mind.”

 

A minute of silence. When a chill runs down Chan back. He thinks of Jeongin, but he’s too preoccupied to turn around and hope he might see him. “I don’t follow,” Chan finally says.

 

“This Jeongin thing. Okay, look- look, you didn’t even _know_ him. You do realize how weird this is, right?”

 

Oh, Jesus. This again. Chan fights to roll his eyes. “Yes, I’m aware. Trust me, I really wish this wasn’t happening either. I wish I wasn’t seeing some- some supposed dead kid. But I am.”

 

“I’m just hoping… If you try and talk to him, you’ll see he’s not _fucking there_ , dude.” Changbin holds the back of his neck and cringes a bit. “Just- Just- I’m not trying to be an asshole, okay?”

 

“I can so see that,” Chan nearly sneers. He knows what Changbin means to do and what he doesn’t mean to do. And he knows Changbin had good intentions, but he feels sick anyway, and pissed off.

 

“I’m being serious. You already had problems sleeping, but you’ve literally been up three days now. And it’s ‘cause of Jeongin, Jihyo told me.”

 

“It’s not ‘cause of _Jeongin_.” It isn’t, not entirely.

 

When Changbin reaches forward to Chan’s forearm, something pulls at Chan to jerk back. He doesn’t. “Chan, you know this is only going to get worse.” Changbin says this in Korean, his voice tender.

 

Chan, who made a point of now wanting to go by his Korean name - trying to speak Korean as often as possible at home, even, has to take a moment to process what Changbin says to him. He blinks, slowly translating in his head. He gets upset.

 

Before Chan has a chance to respond, Changbin’s gaze is fixated past him. Eyes tripled in size, his lips slightly parted. He blinks once and then twice.

 

“‘Bin?” Chan asks, still nothing for Changbin’s attention. It’s completely shifted. Chan peers over his shoulder, following Changbin’s gaze.

 

Sure enough, just as Chan expected moments ago, Jeongin Yang stares back at him. His eyes continuously shift back and forth between Changbin and Chan. He looks so terrified. Jesus, Chan can hear a heartbeat thumping right in his ears and he’s positive it isn’t his own. It’s beating too fast. Maybe it’s Jeongin’s.

 

But Jeongin is - probably - dead. Whose heartbeat would be so deafening?

 

“You see him, don’t you?” Chan asks, slowly now, hoping to shake Changbin out of his trance. It works a little, he hums. The pitch going up to sound like he’s asking for Chan to repeat himself. He faces him again. “Do you see Jeongin?”

 

Changbin fights in answering him. Looking at Chan and swallowing hard. Finally blinking his dry eyes again. “ _No_ ,” he clearly lies and looks back to Jeongin. “I- I don’t see him.”

 

“Changbin--”

 

He finally pulls back and looks to the floor a moment, looking like he might be sick. “It’s- That’s- No. I didn’t see anyone.” He looks back up. “I don’t fucking see anyone.”

 

Chan glances back - Jeongin still there, blinking rapidly at both Changbin and Chan. He looks so scared. Chan wants to say something to Jeongin, but he doesn’t. “Are you okay?” He finally asks Changbin.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Chan doesn’t decide to say he thinks otherwise. Instead he makes a suggestion. “We should go to Vincent’s.

 

 **\- - - - -**

 

Vincent’s is known to be a place where mothers would hate to see their children. Greasy pizza, made by a man who chain smokes while rolling out the dough, with beers and pops shoved down deep into iceboxes. It gives off a vibe like minors shouldn’t be allowed inside, but they’ve never been asked to leave.

 

The prices were cheap and the food insanely good, Chan often found himself sat in one of the dirty wooden booths with a friend or two.

 

The tension in the air was thick, Changbin didn’t speak while they hopped the bus down into the city. While Chan did hope - even slightly - that getting him at least out of the house would do something for his demeanor. It was like Jeongin imprinted himself onto Changbin; he couldn’t shake him.

 

Instead, while waiting for their larger-than-life slices of pepperoni pizza, they’re silent. Changbin’s fingernails trace the indentations on the table, Chan only stares at him.

 

He wants to ask, ‘are you upset that you were wrong?’

 

Wrong about Jeongin. Wrong about Chan actually seeing him - that Jeongin was practically stalking Chan from _beyond the grave_. Should Jeongin really have a grave.

 

Instead, Chan taps his hands on the table. “Vincent’s beats cafeteria food, right? It’s on me, by the way.”

 

Changbin nods. “Good,” he answers dryly. “I didn’t bring my wallet.”

 

“Perfect then, it works out.”

 

Changbin glances up to him. “Quit it.”

 

Between the sound of a sports game aired on the crappy TV in the corner and the chatter from others in the bar, Chan has to ask Changbin to repeat himself.

 

“I said, quit it,” he repeats, louder. “Quick acting like everything is… Cool. I had a freakin’... _Meltdown_ in your room.”

 

“Because you saw Jeongin.” _And I’m not crazy._

 

Changbin smacks the table. “I don’t know _what_ the fuck I saw.”

 

Rather than argue (It would get them nowhere) Chan just nods. “Okay. But something freaked you out.”

 

“I just- I just got… Overwhelmed.”

 

“Overwhelmed,” Chan repeats.

 

In the corner of his eye, Chan sees their waitress hurrying over, balancing a large plastic tray. Two slices of pizza, dripping in cheese and pepperoni, accompanied with two Cokes. She quickly sets them down. “Here you two go - Make sure to let me know if everything is alright, ‘kay?” She says, looking to Chan as she rushes out her programmed phrase.

 

“Will do, thank you,” Chan says coolly.

 

Her eyes linger and she flashes him a bigger smile than before. “Really. Do let me know if you need anything.” She turns off in the other direction.

 

“You ought to tattoo, ‘I have a girlfriend’ on your forehead,” Changbin playfully sneers, he lifts his Coke can.

 

Chan looks across the table. “I’ve only got eyes for Jihyo. Besides, _she_ probably is just into the accent.”

 

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but then she looks to her _second_ option!” Changbin jabs a thumb at himself. “Just rule you out immediately.”

 

“You really excited to be number two?”

 

“Shut up.” Changbin takes a bite of his food. “Everyone is dating… You and Jihyo have been steady since y’all were sophomores, plus there’s Jisung and ‘Lix. And, Minho’s got a date on Saturday with _somebody_.”

 

“Somebody, huh? No details then?”

 

“Nope! Out of the loop and forever single. Tragic, really.”

 

Chan grimaces. “Jesus, Mate, maybe just have more faith in yourself. And Jihyo’s got a ton of girl friends. Double date or something?”

 

“Eh, why not. Name a time, place, and one of her many friends. Preferably not one I necessarily know.”

 

“How come?”

 

“Chaeyoung, Sally, _and_ Dahyun literally all saw me fall out of that tree on Minho’s birthday.” Changbin starts to laugh. “I’ve ruined any chance I have with any of them.”

 

Backtracking, Chan brings up their two love-bird friends. “So… What exactly is going down with Felix and Jisung?”

 

He takes a moment to answer, swallowing down a mouthful of pizza. “Felix and Jisung? I  told you the other day. They’re dating.”

 

“ _Yeah_ ,” Chan brushes off. “But, like, why are you so sure?”

 

Changbin shrugs. “I was heading into Ji’s backyard. Nothing too weird... Just he and Felix sitting around, talking, when Felix leaned in close and whispered something. I didn’t hear it, but- but then Jisung started holding his hand… And Felix put his head on Jisung’s shoulder. I ended up bolting.”

 

Something about the so-called confession left Chan feeling uneasy, maybe offended his so-called best friend never said anything to him about this so-called crush he must of had.

 

“Doesn’t it feel wrong talking about them and this… _Relationship_ they might, or might not, be in? We should just wait for either of them to tell one of us.”

 

Eventually, Changbin agrees and Chan finally takes a bite of his food. Up until then, he had, more or less, left it unattended, finally sinking his teeth into the still-hot food made his stomach growl.

 

The tense atmosphere from before was also finally gone. On some level, Chan knew that they would have to talk about what happened back in his bedroom, but for now, he was fine with chatting about Changbin’s non-existent love life.

 

Which, they do continue on the topic until the food is done and the check is being placed in front of him. Chan absently tosses two bills - a twenty and a five - into the metal dish. Changbin laughs and points to the receipt. “She left you her number.”

 

Chan looks down to where Changbin points, sure enough, there’s a few numbers squished together with a smiley face just below them. “Christ,” he says. “If I say nothing, she’ll think I’m an asshole… And if I tell her I have a girlfriend, I’ll be an asshole.”

 

“Maybe you’re just an asshole.”

 

“Fuck off,” Chan says, rolling his eyes. He pauses, staring off to the employee’s backroom. He seriously does consider popping in to let the girl know he wouldn’t be calling. “Maybe she left it for you.”

 

“Doubt it,” Changbin shrugs. “Maybe just dip, yeah? I don’t think she’ll be all too heartbroken about it.”

 

“You’re probably right.” Although, Chan keeps his eyes on the door a bit longer. He blinks and the door is starting to open.  Woojin Kim emerges, wearing a black shirt with a golden name-tag. Chan looks back to Changbin. “You got the time?”

 

He looks to his watch. “Quarter till three, why?”

 

School’s been out for near half an hour, not that Chan comments on it. “Nothing - Do you have work today.”

 

“At four, yeah. You wanna walk me over?” Changbin asks. They both start out the doorway. The bakery Changbin scored a job at last November wasn’t necessarily a far walk from Vincent’s, but Chan would rather they had his car. Not that his mother lets him drive around much anymore - she says she’s scared he’ll fall asleep at the wheel, so mobility is reserved for when he’s getting decent sleep. (So never.)

 

Chan never did bother answering Changbin about walking him to work, so they carry on a bit in silence, up until Chan decides that maybe this would be the best time to go back into shark-infested waters and finally chime in about Jeongin again.

 

“You positive you didn’t see him back in my bedroom.”

 

Changbin turns and eyes his friend. “Yes.”

 

“I’m not gonna think anything bad if you did,” Chan eases into the conversation. “Like, it would be fucking hypocritical if I did.”

 

“I know…” Changbin whispers. “I know, I just-” He finally answers. “I don’t know what I exactly saw. But I don’t think it was him… Why the hell would Jeongin fucking Yang be chilling in your bedroom?”

 

“If only I knew…” It was better now, it felt less taboo and less heated. The Jeongin-talk didn’t feel like it was building up to another blowout. “Listen - I’m not saying he’s really-really there, and I’m not saying he’s a ghost or something, but we both saw him.”

 

“I--” Changbin starts to argue, but stops. “We can talk about this later…” They were close to the bakery. “I really would rather we not do this right now.”

 

And Chan, really, nearly agrees to drop it. But he glances across the street and feels another chill run down his spine.

 

It feels like someone just put a noose around his neck and they’re pulling it tighter and tighter, until all Chan can think to do is whimper out for his friend’s attention. “‘Bin,” he rushes out.

 

Maybe Changbin did ask him what was happening, or something, but Chan doesn’t hear it. He just starts pointing across the street, his hand shaking like mad.

 

Jeongin stares back, big eyes, unmoving. Chan glances to Changbin. “Don’t you dare fucking lie to me,” he nearly hisses. “He’s right there, I know you see him.”

 

“Chris,” Changbin chokes. “Dude- Chan. Fuck.” He takes a step back. “Fuckin’ _quit it_.”

 

“‘Bin--”

 

“ _Don’t!_ Don’t fucking- I don’t see anyone. I really don’t and I don’t want to keep talking about this! Please, I’m being so god-damn serious right now. I _told_ you I wanted to drop it. Fucking- Don’t fucking keep up with this shit. Talkin’ about some dead kid you didn’t even know?” Changbin looks back to where Jeongin is, his tone doesn’t change, but his language does. “I don’t want to be involved.”

 

Chan doesn’t say anything, he still eyes Jeongin and wonders how can’t he see him. Changbin did - he so did before, in Chan’s bedroom, but suddenly he can’t anymore.

 

Changbin is still talking. “And Christ…” He starts. “Talk about fucking tasteless. Of all the places you had to start pointing at and shouting about Jeongin fucking Yang.”

 

And he dips, disappearing into the bakery just ahead of them. Chan looks back to where Jeongin is - or was, he was gone again - and sees, ironically enough, it was the bookstore owned by Jeongin’s family.

 

But Chan isn’t one for pushing his luck twice in one day, so he decides to head off for the bus stop, wanting to go home.

  


**\- - - - -**

 

Another hour passes due to his bus ride - not that Chan will point it that, should he of had his car, the journey should only take close to fifteen minutes. He’s tried arguing with his mom countless times about this sort of thing, but to no avail, if she isn’t completely satisfied with his sleeping habits on the given day - or week - then she snatches his car keys from front room and takes them with her to work. At this rate, he’s considering learning how to hotwire his car to save on bus fair.

 

Hannah and Lucas are both home, eyes glued to the TV while they both face off in some video game. Chan ignores their distracted greetings and goes up to his bedroom. He immediately sees the window, from letting Changbin in earlier, was still open. Although it was early November, the room wasn’t too cold.

 

But once the window is shut, Chan feels a chill run down his back. “Jeongin?” He asks, on impulse, and whips around. There was no room for jumpscares, he supposes, because Jeongin is staring right back at him from the middle of the room.

 

“Oh shit,” he curses, glancing to his open door. Chan closes it. “Oh shit,” he repeats.

 

Jeongin watches him wordlessly, twisting and turning as Chan rushes from the window to his door, to the middle of the room, before finally taking a seat on his bed. “Holy shit,” he finally says.

 

“Are you going to say anything?” He tries. Jeongin stares, Chan wonders if he can understand him. “If you can… Can you say anything?”

 

Jeongin shakes his head, Chan feels a weird sense of accomplishment. He also feels sick.

 

“Okay… This is cool.” He runs a hand through his hair. “This is fine.”

 

Jeongin is just staring at him. Chan wonders if he’s really dead - and if he’s dead, can he touch him? Is he solid or just an apparition?

 

He finally decides, slowly, to go for Changbin’s Ouija board. “Do you think you can use this?” He asks, squinting his eyes, raising the board enough for Jeongin to get a good look at. He shrugs in return, but nods, like he’s suggesting for Chan to give it a go anyway.

 

The board is straight forward enough. It comes with the board itself as well as the planchette. There’s a pamphlet, too, probably advertising that you shouldn’t hold your breath for any actual ghosts to chat with you.

 

But, Chan’s already got the ghost, so he’s pretty set. “Okay just… Grab this piece here, if you can, and move it to spell out whatever you want to say--” Jeongin flashes him a look with a raised eyebrow. “Or, I take it you’ve seen scary movies, too. You know how it works  then?”

 

Jeongin nods and places his hand on the planchette. He nods for Chan to do the same.

 

For minute Chan thinks about how insane this whole thing is. Talking to a ghost, seeing a ghost. Chan must be losing his mind.

 

Here goes nothing, then.

 

“So, you’re Jeongin Yang? Or, Yang Jeongin. Whichever you prefer.”

 

_2._

 

“Yang Jeongin?” Jeongin nods. “Alright… And you’re dead?” Chan hates himself for being so bold.

 

Jeongin slides the planchette over hesitantly.

 

_Yes._

 

“Does anyone know you’re dead?”

 

_No._

 

“Am I the only one who can see you?”

 

Jeongin slides the planchette back and force aggressively.

 

_Yes-No-Yes-No._

 

Chan thinks for a moment, and finally speaks again. “Changbin, my friend, he doesn't count.”

 

_t-h-e-n No._

 

Before Chan can say something else, Jeongin is sliding the planchette again.

 

_h-a-t-e?_

 

_c-h-a-n-b-i-n._

 

_h-a-t-e-s._

 

_m-e?_

 

“He doesn’t hate you,” Chan quickly explains. “Seeing you - he saw you didn’t he?” Jeongin nods. “It scared him. It- It scares me too.

 

_s-o-r-r-y._

 

“It’s alright--”

 

_s-c-a-r-e-s._

 

_m-e._

 

_2._

 

Chan almost laughs. “I could imagine.” Pause. “Can you tell me how you died?” Chan asks, almost timidly. He needs to know.

 

Jeongin tenses, staring at the board.

 

_No-Yes-No-Yes-No-Yes._

 

_w-o-r-d-s._

 

_No. w-o-r-d-s._

 

“You don’t know… How to say it.”

 

_b-o-a-r-d._

 

“With the board?” Chan asks, confused, but Jeongin nods furiously. His eyes are big and concerning. Chan feels so much pity for that split second. “Jeongin, if you… Don’t want to tell me.”

 

_n-e-e-d._

 

_t-o._

 

_t-e-l-l._

 

“Then tell me.”

 

In a frantic attempt to get anything across, Jeongin brings the planchette over roughly.

 

_Yes._

 

_Yes. t-e-l-l._

 

“So just… Tell me--”

 

Jeongin grabs Chan’s wrist. They aren’t in Chan’s bedroom anymore.

 

Chan blinks, looking around, he’s alone. The forest just off the school grounds. “Jeongin?” He looks around frantically. “Jeongin?” He shouts again.

 

Snow is falling just slightly, nothing touching Chan. He barely feels the cool temperatures. He looks around again, his chest feeling heavy. There’s a voice not too far off, it’s soft and light. “I’m just going to go home.”

 

“Jeongin, please wait.”

 

“Please, don’t worry. I’m leaving.” Pause. “Teachers might see us, anyway.”

 

Running, Jeongin rushes past Chan - does he even see him?

 

It’s dark and Jeongin is running fast. He trips. Chan chases after him, chasing faster and faster, never going to reach him. “Jeongin.”

 

Jeongin stumbles back to his feet, dizzy and whimpering. He has tears in his eyes.

 

“Jeongin!”

 

Jeongin is gone, Chan whips around. Back and forth - left to right. He’s somewhere else, the bottom of a hill. Jeongin leans against a tree.

 

Chan hears Jeongin curse, loudly, in Korean. “Fuck.”

 

When Jeongin drops, rolling down the hill, Chan snaps back to his bedroom. Jeongin sits across from him. He feels nauseous again, like he wants to throw up and pass out. Jeongin stares him with his big-ass eyes and then looks away, ashamed, maybe. Chan shakes. “Jesus Christ,” he says. “Was that- Was that when you…” He leaves the sentenced unfinished, but Jeongin knows what he means.

 

 _Yes_.

 

“You just- How did you even…” Everything Chan saw was flickering through his mind again at lightspeed, recycling every image again and again. “Who was that you were with?”

 

Jeongin sits back and Chan hears an audible swallow.

 

“Jeongin, I heard you talking to someone. Who was it?”

 

_No._

 

_No._

 

“Jeongin…” Chan whispers. “Was it someone you knew?” But that was obvious.

 

_No._

 

“Was it one of your friends?” He tries, bordering desperate. “Woojin? Seungmin? Hyungjin?”

 

_No._

 

_No._

 

_No._

 

_No._

_No._

 

Jeongin, aggressively pushing and pulling the planchette back and forth onto the ‘No’ in the corner of the board, Chan being jostled around as he did it. Jeongin’s face twists into something like anger and frustration.

 

“Jeongin--” Chan gives one more attempt before Jeongin disappears on him, the planchette left alone on the Ouija board. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ…” He sighs.

 

Chan gives a brief glance around the room, maybe hoping Jeongin is just hiding on the opposite side of the room. But Chan was alone again, it makes him anxious.

 

So Chan just packs away the Ouija board, regretting his decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i put on my fuckin beatles playlist while writing this n got distracted for 2 hrs


End file.
